The High Cost of War for One Family

Carlos Arredondo was a regular presence at Occupy Boston’s camp at Dewey Square. With a sparkle in his eye, he would make a child or adult smile with a kind word, and he would explain every detail of his Camp Alex tent to anyone with the time and interest. Camp Alex commemorated his son Alex, who was killed in the Iraq war in 2004, and contained photographs of Alex, letters he had written home from Iraq, Alex’s combat boots and dog tag, and many other artifacts. Now, tragically, Carlos is commemorating his other son’s passing.

Brian Luis Arredondo took his own life in Norwood, Massachusetts, on the 19th of December, 2011. Brian survived his brother, Alexander, by seven years, three months, and twenty four days. Brian is survived by his father and stepmother, Carlos and Melida Arredondo, and his mother, Victoria Foley.  Those close to him said that Brian never fully recovered from the loss of his brother, Lance Corporal Alexander Scott Arredondo, to a sniper’s bullet in Najaf, Iraq.

Brian was “broken” on the day his brother died, according to Carlos Arredondo. Brian was living in Maine at the time. His mother had moved to Bangor three months earlier, to make a new start in life. Carlos and Melida had moved to Florida to be near Melida’s elderly mother. On August 25th, 2004, three U.S. Marines and a Chaplain showed up at Brian’s house in Maine. They would not say why they were there, although Brian knew, but requested to speak with Brian’s mother, Victoria, who was not home at the time.

Brian, in shock, punched holes in the sheetrock of his new home. He called his father’s phone, and it was answered by his stepmother Melida, who told him that the Marines had also visited them in Florida, and his father had burned the van and himself. When he turned on the television and saw footage of his father burning on national TV, he ran out into the street, hoping to be hit by a truck, he later said.

Carlos had received the news of his son Alex’s death from three Marines but no Chaplain. Lost in a daze, and with nobody nearby with the skill to console him, he was consumed by an emotional fury, locked himself into the Marine’s vehicle and set the van, and himself, on fire. He was pulled out of the van, but suffered burns of much of his body. Because of his activism since, the U.S. Marine Corps has changed its protocol for notification of death of a service member, requiring the presence of a chaplain.

Carlos had received the news of his son Alex’s death from three Marines but no Chaplain. Lost in a daze, and with nobody nearby with the skill to console him, he was consumed by an emotional fury, locked himself into the Marine’s vehicle and set the van, and himself, on fire. He was pulled out of the van, but suffered burns of much of his body. Because of his activism since, the U.S. Marine Corps has changed its protocol for notification of death of a service member, requiring the presence of a chaplain.

Brian had wanted to join the Marines like his brother. Since his brother’s death, he struggled to make a life, but was troubled by depression and trying to make sense of what happened to his life. He was a quiet young man who was embarrassed at not having a clear plan in life, though he was doing better than many would have done in similar circumstances. Brian was a loving and appreciative son, and expressed great thanks to his parents for their love and guidance.

A recent cry for help, a suicide attempt in which Brian called the police and brandished a knife at them while saying “Shoot me!” was said to be of little importance by the medical staff at the hospital, which released him. Charges were pressed against him by the state for brandishing the knife. He was worried about his case, and took own life two days before the court date, which was also the day on which the last U.S. soldiers departed from Iraq.

The soldiers have left Iraq, but the war is not over for Iraqis whose country is in turmoil and in a national state of trauma. The war is not over for the families of soldiers who were killed, injured or otherwise transformed by the war, and left without enough support after their time of service. In both 2009 and 2010, more active duty and reserve soldiers took their own lives than were killed in combat, and this does not count suicide deaths by returned veterans or family members of veterans.

Please join the family, friends, and supporters for Brian Arredono’s wake, funeral, and the celebration of his life:

The Brian Arredondo Memorial Fund has been set up to cover memorial expenses at The Cooperative Bank, 40 Belgrade Avenue, Roslindale, Massachusetts 02131.

Story by Sage Radachowsky